I'm in tears as I write today's post...today is a very grey day, what am i talking about???, it's been a grey week, and i know its only Tuesday, but the days seem longer when they are grey.....
So for those that dont know me already, I'm Sammy. I weigh umm hold on its been weeks since i weighed myself (it seems pointless to these days) wow I weigh 128.8kg...damn that hurts. like I said I havent weighed myself in ages....in kind of hurts too much....oh crap now here come the tears again...
So like I said I weigh 128.8kg, I have pms every day of the month, I eat like a camel (binge eat one day, not get hungry for days after that)I have days sometimes weeks of lets call them 'grey' days, I have what I like to call 'little soldier ****' putting little land mines in my pores (aka more zits than a teenage boy), those same little so and so's pulling hair out of my head and planting it in my chin, cheek and upper lip area (honestly, one day im afraid im going to wake up in the morning look in the mirror and be greeted by a crater faced bearded lady reflection). I also get days where it seems that every half an hour I feel like Im having a heart attack (Im not, its just a fabulous little thing called anxiety) seriously, try concentrating on anything when that happens! Put all that together and Ive got this lovely little thing called PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
Apparently it affects 10% of the population - if this is the case then the majority of the 10% is my circle of friends. Yet before I found out I had it, I had never heard of it. Its been around since the 1930's, noone definitively knows how it occurs nor do they know how to fix it. And let me tell you one thing if you have it but dont want children or more children (me) well, the doctors dont really give a rats patootie about you. Never mind that this 'syndrome' can cause diabetes, heart disease, depression, anxiety etc if you arent looking to have a baby then you dont matter. Dont get me wrong I feel for all of those out there who have PCOS and cant fall pregnant, i really do - but I would like a chance to enjoy the same amount of care and concern shown to them. PCOS is an awful thing to deal with, no matter what your situation.
Anyways so this is my blog, its about me and my feelings. I swear (like a trooper sometimes) but i will never ever mean to cause offence, I am not and should not be considered a 'proper source of information' (if you want more info just google PCOS) I welcome comments, I try to blog often but sometimes the grey days or the other parts of my life interfere with that.
Take care of yourselves